New Year, New Goals?
Well, it's that time of the year again when we all wipe our slates clean and begin the year with many fresh goals for ourselves and those around us.
Your associates should have inspired you over the Christmas period to review and evaluate the goals you want to continue pursuing, ditch or realign even if you didn't tell them so.
Private or Public Goals?
Many of us, as we progress in life, learn to hold our dreams closer to our hearts where we keep them private and protected. However, very few of us can independently achieve our goals without someone else being involved in helping to make them a success. Sometimes we develop the belief that we should keep them private and protected, safe from the abuse and derision of others.
Others believe that the perspective of publicly broadcasting your goals will make you publicly accountable in order to drive you to achieve them. It may cause that unconscious 'dissonance'; that feeling of wanting tochange your habits and beliefs, enough to motivate a decision to break from the norm.
Therefore, do we pronounce them publicly or do we cocoon them in cotton wool. Truth is, if your goal requires you to be tougher with yourself and enlist the assistance of people you may not have even met yet, then it's time to become tougher on yourself and execute your goals publicly, because in this manner, you will gather the attraction of those who are willing to assist you in meeting those goals. You may attract someone who has experienced the same difficulties that you can expect to meet along the way which will challenge you and may cause you to quit or fail if you don't give yourself the opportunity to get a few encouraging words from them. At worst, it may help you face your unconscious limitations and demons of fear, negativity and prejudice that you need to work with or let go of, before you can move on. You have to put yourself out there, to put yourself in a position to 'receive'.
If your goal involves an integrative change, which primarily involves yourself, that is, changing your habits, beliefs or behaviours, through reflective learning, self analysis or just plain old study techniques, than perhaps cocooning your goal is the best option. Perhaps you can start with self-help books, 'how to' books or a coach or mentor. Then expand your 'personal growth' support to small supportive groups, before considering whether to 'go public' with what may be a delicate, private goal and an equally delicate ego and self esteem. In that case, be mindful that public feedback as a result, may become a major source of distraction from focusing on your goal.
However, we can often learn a great deal from gathering new perceptions, information and friendly supportive feedback which may assist us on the road to dynamic change and progress.
Getting the balance right
My advice would be to find a way to get the balance right for you. If you have made public declarations previously that have not resulted in the manifestation of your goals, then go to the other extreme; go private, get a coach, join a mastermind group.
Make a public declaration
If, on the other hand, you have held your goals too private for too long, start with a whisper, a call out or public declaration and perhaps use techniques of motivation that you have or haven't tried before that can assist you in clearly seeing real, tangible results. Our results should demonstrate defined and measurable outcomes of size, frequency, duration; Yes or no results, real or still …just a dream.
Is smoking with electronic cigarettes safe or just safer than tobacco?
Only a few decades ago smoking cigarettes was touted as being safe - and promoted as the fashionable thing to do if you wanted to be in with the 'in-crowd' down at the bike shed or at the office. Those people who measured their own popularity and esteem at the bike shed are now hanging out in the freezing cold, sucking vapour throw an electronic illuminated plastic straw (e-cigarettes). During this David Letterman interview, Katherine Heigl discusses her use of e-cigarettes.Katherine Heigl
states at the end - "it's an addiction, but a healthy addiction". Well, we don't know about that Katherine - only time will tell about the long term effects of E-cigarettes but the general belief or assumption is that the reduced chemical content of the E-cigarette compared with tobacco based cigarettes or cigars, is believed to make smoking e-cigarettes a safer option. There are several on the market, some with the addictive nicotine and some without nicotine.Clearly the main advantage e-cigarettes have over tobacco is the cost, with a 20 a day smoker running up a £45 /$60 a week tobacco habit
Are you working just to smoke?
With an average cost of £0.35
per cigarette, a 20 a day smoker is spending £2555 per year
on cigarettes! Higher priced cigarettes can cost nearer £0.40 per cigarette - taking £2920
out of your pockets! However effectively you are paying up to an additional £876 per year (in unseen tax)
to smoke - because your pay has already had the tax deducted. That is £2920 + the £876 taken as PAYE tax and national insurance prior to your purchase of cigarettes - which as you know AFTER you purchase them, are again contributing to the tax system.Price comparison of cigarette prices at www.mysupermarket.co.ukSo how much of your earning
s have you lit up and smoked? As a 20 a day smoker - from your salary as a whole - you can deduct £3796 before you have got out of bed an April the 6th
(new tax year in the UK). As a minimum wage worker
of over 21 years of age - at £6.08 per hour - that is the equivalent of 624.34 HOURS of work
to spend on smoking - (not accounting for those paid and extended smoke shed breaks smokers seem to take)
. That is 16.64 full working weeks
(@37.5hrs) gross pay being spent completely on smoking. Of course you can add a week if your week is shorter - and reduce your time if you earn more, but do the maths yourself. Effectively you are working 4 and a half months each year - just to support your smoking habit.
Some people know the price of everything and the value of nothing
But the real cost of smoking isn't found in your purse or wallet. As you can see from the video above, the price is your enduring health - because death isn't always at the end of a short road - for many the enduring illness, complications and pain filled suffering and dark depressing days is a long and regret filled road
, on which they are carried by many and accompanied perhaps by a few of their family members.If e-cigarettes are a safer option than smoking tobacco at present, then take the step down approach towards becoming a non-smoker. However, many just see it as just a cheaper alternative to cigarettes, without the necessary mindset that allows them to imagine their lives as a non-smoker.When you are ready to journey down that road, hypnotherapy can help you quit smoking quickly and safely without any dependency for nicotine.Now you know the cost and the price of smoking can you appreciate the value of quitting, surely your life is worth the investment of quitting smoking?
When you have made that decision, don't hesistate to contact me by phone
or contact form
.Please feel free to comment on the article and add this site to your bookmarks.
Obsessive compulsive disorders (OCD's)
are often more common than most realise. With the advent of Facebook
amongst the many social media methods of interacting, many individuals are beginning to question their own wellbeing when they realise they are spending excessive amounts of time checking updates and posts on these apparently addictive sites. The addition of 'alert' noises or vibrating smartphones
, means you find those who constantly carry their phones with them, become mentally conditioned to 'compulsively' look at what the new message that the 'Pavlov's Dog conditioning' process
(alert messaging) has trained them to do. Every time the phone buzzes or sounds - like the Pavlovian response, they can't resist the compulsion to look. A sense of 'excitement' is triggered. In fact, many just look because they haven't had any messaging alerts. Does this sound like anyone you know, perhaps even yourself?Phone manufacturers are aware of this, as are marketing companies - as they now know that they can target individuals who keep their smart-phones connected to the internet for incoming messages or emails almost 24 hours each day. Even without opening messages fully, you can convey a message in a few short words. Is this a positive or negative use of this primal response?Well, for those who everyday lives, including working days, are interrupted by the constant compulsion to read their mobile phones - it becomes a huge disadvantage amongst the workforce or family environment as concentration, productivity and relationships become increasing distorted. Employees and employers find that the external intrusion
of the internet and smart-phone technology claims a huge risk to the general safety and stabilty of the business environment, those working within it and the overall general business outcome. Driving down any road - you will witness this 'irresistible urge' played out in the hands of an offside driver who is prepared to risk their own lives and those around them while they doggedly respond to a bleep from a phone. Even if they don't, the unresolved desire to find out what the message is about is driving them crazy as they drive. They have to pull over and read or respond. That feeling of 'resolution' is their reward. If you have ever experienced this yourself, perhaps you can empathise with the thought processes and responses of a person with OCD.
This is just perhaps a fraction of the type symptoms and behaviours experienced or exhibited by those with OCD.
That person who persistently talks about what they say they fear or are interested in, while beneath the surface they are hiding a fixation which is causing them anxiety, anxiety which is lead by a conflict between their beliefs and desires, termed cognitive dissonance
by psychologists. They feel 'damned if they do and damned if they don't'.
However the feeling of reward, emotional release or reduction of anxiety, doesn't last. The physical and cognitive thoughts soon return, elevating the conscious or unconscious anxiety to that object/person or situation to that which they have attached their fixation,
which in many cases are related to some kind of 'social taboo'.
So how do OCD sufferers dissociate themselves from the compulsion to do what they claim they dislike doing or thinking about?Well, there are several methods which can be used including
As hypnotherapy was precursor to all of those therapies, experienced hypnotherapists will realise many of the methods are a dilution of the techniques used in hypnotherapy.
- Cognitive Behavioural Therapy
- Neuro-linguistic Programming (NLP)
- Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprogramming
- Emotional Freedom Technique
Often the treatment of OCD can, though not always, take a considerable length of time, often because the individual is resisting
letting go of a behaviour or belief that they find is giving them some kind of reward. If your reflect on why you participate in any behaviour, be it alone, or with others, perhaps you will find that you are engaing in some rewarding outcome.
At times, when someone has an obsessive disorder they engage others
in their beliefs and behaviours, thereby reinforcing the beliefs and behaviours
by involving others to support the behaviour. Often unwittingly, they then become
that person's enabler
- enabling them to continue the 'unaccepable' behaviour.
The supporting person or person's then becomes a subject of transference
through whom that individual to expresses their anxiety's or behaviours. Unknowingly they become pawns in the lives of the obsessive person's beliefs and behaviours - they themselves have been 'hypnotised' to reinforce the other persons distorted beliefs and behaviours
. Often this can be witnessed in group dynamics; families and groups are persuaded/ manipulated into behaving in a particular manner for the benefit of one person. They develop the 'group think'
mentality where they fail to critically evaluate
what they are being lead to believe -
"A mode of thinking that people engage in when they are deeply involved in a cohesive in-group, when the members' strivings for unanimity override their motivation to realistically appraise alternative courses of action."
Then the resistance to abandon the obsessive behaviour or beliefs
becomes more complex, as those supporting the beliefs gain social, emotional or psychological rewards from maintaining the 'suppportive' behaviour. They find it difficult to challenge the obsessive
and now controlling person's behaviour/beliefs."The more amiability and esprit de corps there is among the members of a policy-making ingroup, the greater the danger that independent critical thinking will be replaced by groupthink, which is likely to result in irrational and dehumanizing actions directed against outgroups
This can happen in family, work groups or organisations - often leading to brainwashing, blind faith, oppressive behaviour and cults or organisational culture. This can lead to group hysteria
comparable on a grander scale to cult followings like that of 'The Moonies
' where religion, spirituality and cultural belief systems
(often driven by fear) were used to allegedly brainwash and control thousands of individuals who pledged themselves to the organisation.On an individual level
, obsessive compulsive disorders can devastate the lives of those who develop the condition. However, when these conditions begin to affect everyday life and the lives of those around the individual, it becomes even more important that the disordered person seeks mental health treatment.
If you think someone you know has a fixation, try not to respond to the constant discussion or engagement in the behaviour or discussion. If they constantly talk about something or someone and attempt to engage you in the negative beliefs and behaviours, step back - challenge their beliefs and observe how they react. Then critically reflect on why they may really be engaging in their behaviour. As stated earlier, hypnotherapy can be one of the fastest and most effective long-term solutions to reducing and resolving
obsessive behaviours and fixations.References and useful links:Daily Mail: Are Facebook and Twitter becoming an Obsession? What is an Obsessive Compulsive DIsorder?Psychological ResistanceTransferenceGroup ThinkMoonies Leader dies
Sept 2012Cognitive DissonanceResistanceTop Ten OCD Fixations
Take a look into our current understanding of the function of the human brain and some of the important diseases that cause nervous system dysfunction. On this edition, Jason Satterfiled, director of behavioral medicine at UCSF, explores the emotions and health and the promise of mind-body medicine. Series: "UCSF Mini Medical School for the Public" [10/2007] [Health and Medicine] [Show ID: 13033]
Is it time to quit smoking? With the government now prohibiting smoking in public places, has it encouraged more frustrated smokers to quit?
During my career as a hypnotherapists I have treated many smokers who came to me to quit smoking. Many of them wanted to quit, a few others it appears didn't. How did I know this? Because they came to quit on behalf of someone else.
During my assessments prior to treatment, I could tell that those who were more ready to quit on an unconscious level would tell the story of how they had stopped smoking in the house and made the committment that if they made the decision to smoke a cigarett or cigar, that they would force themselves to do it outside. The cold weather it appears acting as a negative deterrant - something that would help them avoid doing an unpleasant or unproductive behaviour. They told of how they hated the yellow ceilings in their homes. They disliked the smell on their clothes and hair. They were fed up of the cigarette ash in the ashtrays and the fine dust of ash on their furniture. The theme rang out - all those willing and ready - on an unconscious level - were making steps to kick smoking out the door for once and forever.
When you want to quit smoking you become unconsciously uncomfortable about smoking alone or in public. It begins to become a repeated source of irritation. It aggraves, annoys and embarrasses you. Just like a tormentting tyrrant that wants to control you or a nagging habit that you just have to finally shut it up. It has to reach a point where you want to get rid of it and know on a conscious and unconscious level that you never want to dabble with it ever again.You know Iit will be a relief to get rid of it and everyone who cares for you will be glad you did it too. You have to reach a mental and physical position of say "NO! I am in control of me!"
So I have to question you - if you are a smoker, have you reached that point yet? Have you tried to quit smoking and failed time and time again? Is life currently too stressful for you to consider relaxing or coping without a cigarette or cigar? Or perhaps you still get some confidence, relaxation, social bonding amongst your friends from smoking. Do you think you will miss out on the gossip if you don't get down to the smoke shed at work as you used to?
Whatever your telling yourself as a means of reinforcing the power that cigarettes seem to have taken over you, do you need to be reminded of the power it is having over ruining your health?
My role here isn't to tell you off or manipulte you into submission to give up smoking, you are a grown adult and can make whatever decision you prefer, but my role is just to support you when you are ready to make that change, knowing that when you do, by whatever means, it will be one of the best decisions you can make for your longterm health and wellbeing.
So, if the time is right now for you to quit smoking and you need hynotherapy to boost your unconscious determination making quitting so much easier, call me on 07817 446745.
12 week Weight Loss Courses can be arranged for businesses and workplaces and also can be run at community centres and leisure centres. .
The session will last for 1 hour, during which attendees will be weighed and measured before being introduced to a weekly topic regarding the healthy eating and lifestyle plan.
Each week a different topic will be introduced. During the first week you will learn about the 'Power of Protein' and how it can help reduce hunger sensations while helping you to lose excessive fat.
Examples of Protein and how it can be incorporated into a healthy food and lifestyle plan are introduced. Each week attendees will have access to weekly handout from the website or through email.
The course has proven to be highly clinicaly effective at helping people to lose weight and maintain that weight loss after 12 months of completeing the program. In addition, those participants who lose the most weight/inches have a chance to win cash prizes. the fee of £39 contributes to the prize fund after room expences are paid. Participants will be introduced to a range of supplements, but are under no obligation to use them in order to take part in the challenge.
So if you would like to participate, contact Ann on 07817 556745 to arrange your pre course assessment and for further details.